The Savvy Networker

Savor the Positive - Enjoy Your Good to Great Moments

In a world that sometimes seems too focused on the negative YOU have the total power to turn your attention to the positive. 

We've all heard the saying, "Stop and smell the roses."

I'm wondering, when was the last time that you stopped to smell your roses?  And by roses, I mean the beautiful actions that you create in your life each day.  I mean the kindnesses that you extend to others.  The helping hand that you extend to a friend in need.  The way you warmly include someone in a conversation.

Many of us are journaling our way to thankfulness or gratefulness by counting the things in our lives that we are thankful for.  By noticing these things, we keep our focus on what matters and we attract more of the same to us.

I'm suggesting that we also make time to recognize and savor how WE are BEING in the world and enjoy those moments.  When we recognize this ability in ourselves, we attract more opportunities to experience even more good to great moments.  And, that's not only for ourselves but for the many wonderful people that we cross paths with each day.

Today, I received a great compliment from a friend when she told me that I handled a difficult situation with grace and poise.  Several years ago, I might have brushed off the compliment.  Today, I let the glow of her kind words wash over me ... and I basked in the warmth of those good feelings for more than a few very nice moments.  Savoring the positive felt very good. 

It is THAT memory that will help me choose grace and poise again at some future unknown moment. 

What good to great moments have you experienced in the last 24 hours?  I hope that you savored them well!

Make Friends Before You Need Them

Better yet, make friends without thinking about your future needs.

Relationships take time to nurture and to grow.  So make the time now to make new friends and continue to grow the friendships that you already have.  You'll never know when you can be of service to someone that you've met or when they can be of service to you.

One thing that I do know is that I am way more likely to help someone that I know, like, and trust when that person has spent time developing a mutually beneficial relationship with me.

I'm going to guess that you have friends that you would bend over backwards to help.  I'm also going to guess that you have people in your life who only show up or call you when they have a pressing need. 

I'm dealing with a person like that right now.  She is an acquaintance who could have been a friend, but for several reasons never made it on to the FOZ bus.  (That's Friends of Zita or FOZ)  This person has a new book coming out.  She wants to speak at one of my events and she wants me to promote her book.  And, I haven't heard from her in 2 and 1/2 years.

Sigh.

So here are some suggestions that I would like to offer to everyone.

If you are writing a book, creating a work of art, undertaking a new project ... stay in contact with your friends during the process.  You'll be creating advocates as they stay in touch with you over time.  They'll feel as if the project is partially theirs too.  They'll want to help you succeed for they were part of journey.

Make time for the key people that can have an impact on your success.  You do not live in a vacuum and neither do they.  Whatever space you hold in someone's mind is called Top of Mind Awareness.  The people who are key to your success should have YOU top of mind.  If they don't, that is your fault - not theirs.  No one owes you space in the Top of Mind Awareness lobe.  You have to earn it.  So be aware of your relationships and keep tending to your TOMA garden.

You'll be glad you did.

Commitment Issues - me and my blog

My how time flies!  It seems just yesterday that I posted here and it's been (gasp) 5 months.

I was thinking about this the other day and debating if I should continue this blog or not.  It seems, at times, that I have nothing new to say about networking.  At other times, it feels like I'm just regurgitating the same information over and over but in a different way.

There are hundreds of books on networking and really it comes down to just a few very simple and basic truths.

Help others get or achieve what they want.

Be a great listener

Listen with the intent of connecting

Make the connections that you are prompted (by your listening) to make

Follow up and follow through

Lather, rinse, and repeat.

I do have opinions on most of these (ok all of them) and with that said, I'm rededicating myself to blogging on a regular basis.  To keep it interesting, I'm going to blog about a wider scope of inter related things and hope that you will find some gems of wisdom intertwined here from time to time.

I'm back ...

Keith Ferrazzi author of Never Eat Alone - in Seattle 6-15-09 Free Event

Keith Ferrazzi is an author I admire. His book "Never Eat Alone" is one of the cornerstones in my library on Building Relationships.

Keith has a new book out "Who's Got Your Back?" He is on tour with the book and the message. Keith will be in Seattle on June 15th and currently, you can get your ticket to attend his event at no charge. Here's the page to learn more and get registered.

That's 6 to 8PM on the 15th of June at the Westin Hotel in Seattle.

You do need to register to attend the event so be sure to grab a ticket by going to the link above.

I have my ticket and I hope that you will join me at this event. If you are planning to go, please let me know so we can look for each other at the Seattle event!

Fear Busters: Feel the fear ... and take action anyway

Fear is a great stopper.  It can make your heart beat faster, your palms grow sweaty, and it can paralyze you in place.

In business, fear can become an ever growing hurdle on your road to success.  If you let it.

I invite you to stare your fears down and take action to move through to the other side.

One way to do that is to have fear busting strategies in place so that you have your own tricks up your sleeve when fear comes calling.

The very first fear buster that I use is called ... who is talking to me right now?  That can also be whose voice is playing the danger alert in my head?  Is it me?  Someone from my past?  Some imagined person as in the invisible they.  Some of the self talk that can happen is, "What if I try and I fail?" "What if they think I'm too (fill in the blank)?" "What if this is a mistake, how will I recover ... maybe it's better to not try at all"  and so on ...

Once I can get in touch with who is sounding the FEAR alert, I can then move on to the next fear buster which is - is it true?  I simply ask myself, is the danger that fear is telling me about true?  It is true that I might fail, it's also equally true that I might succeed.  If the fear is telling me that I can't possible do something, I want to know if that is true.  Has no one else ever done what I am trying to do?  If someone else has done it, then why on earth can't I?  And, if no one else ever has, why can't I be the first?

And the final fear buster that I use is tap an advocate.  I have a close knit group of friends and advisors who know me and my mettle pretty darned well.  When I have wrestled with fear and managed to whittle it down to just doubt ... that's when I call on one of my advocates for a reality check and an attitude adjustment or uplift to push me on my way toward achieving my goals.

I hope that when you find fear messing with your head, your heart, and your goals - that you will use these ideas to keep moving forward.

I would love to hear how you handle and disarm your fears - so please be sure to leave a comment here or send me a tweet at http://twitter.com/zitagustin

In the meantime, here are a bunch of quotes that will also give you insight to how to handle fear.

Dale Carnegie
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Les Brown
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.

Norman Vincent Peale
When you are afraid, do the thing you are afraid of and soon you will lose your fear of it.

Denis Waitley
Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy.

Unknown Author
Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

Author unknown
Do not let your fears choose your destiny.

Richard Bach
Listen to what you know instead of what you fear.

Henry Ford
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

Henry David Thoreau
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

 

The funny side of Social Media

If you have ever felt that you can't keep up with one more piece of the Social Media Pie, you may enjoy watching this short musical video that I've included below.

The rate of speed of the inputs from Social Media can leave many of us feeling complete overwhelm and, at times, totally socially illiterate or distracted by internet interruptus. 

So, to add a little comic relief to your workaday world, allow me to give you one more distraction that will put some of this into perspective.  Enjoy!

Working with your Muse

I hope you'll enjoy watching this video as much as I did.  I love the perspective of thinking that "genius" is a gift from the universe and that we have the ability to receive information and pass it along to others through our own efforts.  I would be interested in your thoughts once you've completed watching.  Enjoy.

How to Really Use LinkedIn - Book Launch News

My networking friend, Jan Vermeiren, is launching his new book - "How to Really Use LinkedIn" and he has a special offer for folks who buy his book through Amazon.com today or tomorrow. 

This is a timely book with great and highly useful information on how to make the most of your time while you are on LinkedIn.  I have an advance copy and I'm finding the book to be easy to read and the concepts Jan covers are easy to grasp and even easier to put into place.

Topics that are covered in the book:

• LinkedIn Functionality
• Basic Strategies, including crafting your profile and building your network
• Groups
• Visibility through Answers
• The Power of LinkedIn
• Advanced Strategies, including how to find new clients, how to find a job, how to find suppliers
• And, quite a lot more

The special launch offer includes a whole bunch of goodies and you can read about that at the following link http://www.how-to-really-use-linkedin.com/en-buy.html 

Grab the book and then grab the goodies and get busy on your LinkedIn profile!

Happy Connecting!

How to be a LinkedIn superstar - Groups and Q and A - iMediaConnection.com

Here's a great article on the best ways to use LinkedIn. It is a long article and well worth the read. Enjoy!

How to be a LinkedIn Superstar

Business Networking for Job Seekers

If you (or someone you care about) have found yourself staring at a pink slip, of course you are not alone.  Lately, it seems that you cannot turn on the news without hearing that another group of people has joined the list of the unemployed.

And, of course, if this has happened to you there are all sorts of emotional triggers and stages of grief that you are likely finding yourself dealing with.  I met with Cindy Haba yesterday with DBM (a leading global outplacement, coaching, and career management firm) and she shared with me that there is a transition curve that people are experiencing which includes the ending of their job, exploration of what the possibilities are, and then new beginnings.

Today, I want to talk about the endings segment of transition.

For some there is a hint that an ending is coming.  For others, the loss of their job hits them out of the clear blue.  Either way, these folks find themselves working through the following stages: Denial, anxiety, shock, fear, anger, frustration, confusion, and stress.  And that's just the part about coming to terms with the situation before they can move on to exploration and new beginnings!

If you or someone you know is in this situation - or if you are feeling your job is "up in the air" right now, I want you to know it is never too late to pack your parachute!  A good, strong, supportive network of contacts can be the salve to ease your pain. 

Here are some suggestions for building business networking relationships that will sustain you and help you over the tough spots that may lie ahead.

• Get to know people up the ladder from your position in your current company (of course this works better if you still have a job)  These connections can be key if your department is downsized - perhaps your skills will come in handy in another division.  You stand a better chance of making it into that pool IF you have visibility outside of your own department, cubicle, or area of expertise.
• Make it a point to know latteral people in your industry.  This should include people both inside and outside of your current company.  These are the folks who will keep their eyes and ears open for opportunities for you ... and, of course, you'll do the same for them.
• Be or get active in trade or service associations.  This helps people outside of your usual work atmosphere to see you in action and to see the "stuff you are made of"  Volunteering helps to build your visibility and your trustworthiness.
• Use Social Media sites to stay in touch with people you already know but don't have time for face to face contact.  You want to let people know that you are interested in what matters to them, what is going on in their lives, and how you can be of service to them.  Again, this tactic keeps you visible and on the radar screen.
• Learn to use Social Media to get answers to your questions or to be seen as an expert in your field.  Again, this tactic increases your visibility.  If you've got extra time on your hands right now, why not spend some of that time writing articles that showcase your expertise.  You can also strengthen your network by posting comments on blogs that are relative to your industry or area of expertise.  All of these strategies increase your Google footprint ... and you know that potential employers will Google you, right?
• Be curious about others.  Let your desire to be the focus of every conversation fall away.  Ask questions of others and let it be about them.  You'll learn more by listening than you ever will from talking.  And people always remember a good listener.  They will be more likely to engage you in discussion at another time and they'll be more likely to remember you when they hear of an opening or an opportunity that would be good for you.  People will care more about you when they know that you cared about them first.
• Find ways to be innovative.  If you've lost your job, you are not alone.  There are hundreds if not thousands of people out there looking for new places to land.  You've got to find ways to stay ahead of the pack.  Tapping into your network for ideas and support can go a long way to helping you stay on top of new ideas, new opportunities, and possibilities.
• Get focused.  What do you want the next segment of your work life to look like?  Who do you know who is already doing that?  Do some research using online tools to gather as much info as you can about what you want to do next and then start letting your network know that you are a person with a plan and lay out your roadmap so that your network can help you to navigate toward your goal or goals.
• Get busy.  You cannot move on to the next big thing in your life if you are lying in bed with the covers pulled up over your head.  That may be comfortable.  But, it's not helpful.  Visibility (which I've mentioned several times) is key to opening up more doors for you.  Get out there and be seen at events.  Be positive in your comments.  Be forward thinking and graceful in your demeanor.  BE the person that you want others to see as capable and valuable to their organization.  Essentially, you want to start dropping the bread crumbs that will become a trail leading back to you in the minds of everyone that you meet.  You want to become the possible and highly likely solution to their needs or the needs of someone that they know.
• Most important though, is to remember to stay low on the needy scale.  Resist all temptation to wallow in your stages of denial, anxiety, anger, etc.  If you are clingy or needy in your networking strategy you will not achieve the desired outcome of positive visibility.  You want to have people appreciate being around you - so remember to keep your attitude and comments positive so that you will attract what you desire.

If you find that you are overwhelmed with the concept of building a network, please consider this - more than 75% of jobs that are filled ... are filled through warm contact within a network.  You cannot afford to NOT have a far reaching network.  Consider starting today to build your network ... and remember a journey starts with a single step ... so break it down into steps you can take consistently and often.

Happy Connecting.